Male Chastity Cage Review

A little over a year ago, I decided to purchase my first chastity cage, so I turned to Amazon as I suspected I’d need to try out a few different models before finally finding a model, style, and size that fit just right, even if I were to replace it later with a better quality model. It turns our that I was very pleasantly surprised to be able to find a cage that fit just perfectly at a reasonable price and have been using it ever since.

What Is Male Chastity?

Male chastity is the practice of one partner controlling when or if the other partner may orgasm as well as how they may orgasm. This can be done within the context of a BDSM, FemDom, cuckold, or even a fairly vanilla relationship. In my case, my girlfriend decides when or if I may orgasm, though she orgasms whenever she pleases. She will often spend some time teasing me as she loves to play with my cock, but once she decides she’s done teasing, the play is over. It drives me wild, but I do love the feeling of constant arousal and of always feeling horny for her, and I love knowing that she’s always completely satisfied. If we’re having intercourse, I’ll always let her know when I’m getting close to climax so she can decide whether I should orgasm or not. More often than not, the answer is no. I’ll then proceed to give her oral until she’s satisfied.

Some couples practice male chastity by having the partner in chastity wear what’s known as a chastity cage 24/7. The cage usually consists of a cock ring which fits around the base of the penis shaft and the testicles into which is attached a cage which sits around and greatly constrict the penis. This is then locked in place via either a padlock or an internal lock. Often the partner in control will hold onto the key, though it’s not uncommon for the partner in chastity to hold onto an emergency key just in case.

In our case, I’m on the honor system. I don’t wear my cage 24/7, but rather only when I feel so aroused that I might be tempted to touch myself. Then I’ll put on the cage and will lock the key in a timed safe. My girlfriend hold onto the other key

What Are the Benefits of Male Chastity?

The most obvious benefits of male chastity are for the partner in control. They are always completely sexually satisfied whenever and however they desire and they have a partner who is always ready to please them.

For the partner in chastity, it varies. I love the feeling of constant arousal. It’s like a prolonged foreplay that can last for weeks on end. And the longer I’m in chastity, the more intense those feelings get. As someone who enjoys a touch of bondage and submission, I also love the feeling of my girlfriend being in complete control of my orgasms. We already have a signed contract indicating that she owns my cock, so the more aroused I get, the more I think of her. When I’m tempted to touch myself when I’m away from my girlfriend and I remember that I’m forbidden from doing so, it makes me feel closer to her. Feeling those urges almost seem like I’m feeling a piece of her inside of me. As she owns my cock, I must simply hold it for her and must refrain from giving in to the urge to touch myself. Otherwise, it would be a breach of trust. My chastity is my gift to her. I willingly give up my ability to orgasm in order to ensure that I’m always available and ready to please her.

The Chastity Cage

The benefit of wearing a chastity cage is multifold. First, it prevents any stimulation to the penis and it prevents erections. This is limits the ability of the wearer to have an orgasm, though an orgasm is still possible. However, an orgasm while wearing a cage necessitates using the mind. After a prolonged period of chastity play with a lot of teasing, wearers have been known to orgasm in their cages. This is fairly rare, and in my opinion, if the person in chastity is so aroused that they can orgasm just from using their mind, then they should be allowed to orgasm.

Another benefit of wearing the chastity cage is that by preventing erections, I find it makes it easier to sleep at night. If I can’t get an erection while I’m trying to fall asleep, it’s easier to drift off to sleep.

The thing I like most about being locked in my cage is that it feels like an extension of my girlfriend. It’s a constant reminder of the promise I made to her, and it feels more like I’m wearing a wedding ring than a bondage device. It fills me with a warm feeling whenever I notice it.

Of course, it’s necessary to remove it every couple of days for cleaning. As much as one tries to clean it in the shower, it’s impossible to get it completely clean without removing it. I like to clean mine with some anti-bacterial soap followed by a spay with some rubbing alcohol.

My Chastity Cage from Amazon

There are many chastity cages available from Amazon, but I finally settled on an unknown brand likely imported from China. When I purchased it, the company was called Ternence, but I can’t find the product anymore. The closest I could find to it, and what I believe to be the exact product is now known as the Chasteness Male Beginners Device Wearable Removable Stainless Steel Metal Protector for Men f137 (Size : 40mm). I prefer the stainless steel cages for the comfort (less chafing) and the ease of cleaning. Also, the angled cock ring provides for a much better fit. I could wear this cage for several days nonstop easily, and if necessary, I could wear it 24/7 without giving it a second thought.

The cage is the perfect size for the average penis. The width is perfect and the length is too. It’s better to get a cage that is slightly too short than too long. This cage provides just the right amount of restriction to prevent an erection, but still allows for breathing room.

The cock ring comes in several different sizes, so it’s important to measure yourself to learn what is the right size for you. The ring should be snug, but not tight.

Restricting blood flow can be quite dangerous, so be very careful with this step. It may be necessary to try out several cock rings before you finally decide to settle on a size for longterm wear. Even with three standard sizes available, I found it quite easy to find one that would provide just the right fit. I use Aquaphor Healing Ointment to lubricate the areas around the cock ring in order to prevent chafing. With the right sizing and a little bit of lubricant, I can wear my cage happily for days on end.

All in all, I’m very pleased with my Chasteness Chastity Cage from Amazon. For $35.04, it’s a great value. Most importantly, it’s comfortable, fits great, and ensures that I can remain in chastity for as long as my girlfriend decides.


The Best Vibrators

Sex toys can be life-changing, but shopping for them can be intimidating, especially for people who have never bought one before. After putting in 90 hours of research and testing—interviewing sex researchers, crowdsourcing opinions from enthusiasts, and analyzing data from seven volunteers who have tried more than 15 different models since 2014—we’ve concluded that the cordless Magic Wand Rechargeable is the best vibrator for clitoral stimulation.

Magic Wand Rechargeable

The best vibrator
No toy offers the same level of power and intensity as the Magic Wand. The Rechargeable is considerably more expensive than the Original version, but it’s worth the additional cost.

The Magic Wand has been a favorite of sex-toy enthusiasts for 40-plus years for good reason. Many of our testers described the Magic Wand Original as their “go-to” vibrator for clitoral stimulation, a toy that was almost always guaranteed to induce an orgasm when others could not. The Magic Wand Rechargeable is twice as expensive as the Original, but its easy-to-clean silicone head, rechargeable battery, quieter motor, and greater variation in intensity and vibration patterns make it worth the extra cost. The toy is durable as well as functional: Its maker, Vibratex, offers a one-year warranty, but several testers have reported that their Magic Wands have stood up to years of daily use without breaking.

Doxy Massager

Stylish and powerful
This corded toy is similar in shape, size, power, and price to the Magic Wand Rechargeable.

If you can’t get the Magic Wand Rechargeable, the Doxy Massager rivals that model in power and costs around the same, but you must plug it in to run it. For anyone who doesn’t mind the cord, the Doxy is a sleek and colorful alternative to the clinical-looking Magic Wand. Our tester found its control panel to be easier and more intuitive to use but preferred the shape and texture of the Magic Wand’s firmer, more angular head.

Maude Vibe

Affordable and versatile
This simple silicone vibrator is far less expensive than similar rechargeable models, and it offers a lot of power for its small size.

The no-frills, teardrop-shaped Maude Vibe is available only in utilitarian gray and comes packaged with its USB charging cord in a humble canvas bag. Unlike its more-expensive competitors, the Vibe offers only three vibration speeds and no fancy patterns, but the vibrations are so powerful that one tester reported that she went “from zero to orgasm in five minutes flat!” The discreet appearance of this small toy is also ideal for anyone who prefers a minimalist aesthetic.

Womanizer Classic

For suction and vibration
This model is an updated version of the toy that pioneered clitoral suction technology, with a less gaudy appearance and a more affordable price tag.

Womanizer’s suction vibrators have inspired a host of relatively inexpensive competitors, but our tester found that the original is still the best, if you’re willing to make the investment. The Womanizer Classic offers a pulsing suction sensation that differs from traditional vibration and that many have compared to the sensation of oral sex. The contoured shape of the attachment that fits over the clitoris is what sets the Womanizer Classic apart from its imitators, offering the most comfortable and precise stimulation of all similar models.

Zumio S

For precise stimulation
This toy’s oscillating stem is the best thing we’ve found for focusing intense stimulation on the most sensitive parts of the vulva and clitoris. The sensation may not satisfy people who prefer the more diffuse, broader stimulation of larger toys like the Magic Wand, though.

If you enjoy very focused clitoral stimulation, you may find the small but powerful Zumio S vibrator to be a highly effective tool. Zumio vibrators have the narrowest tips of any vibrators we’ve seen, concentrating and intensifying the vibrations within a relatively small surface area. The Zumio S’s small, rounded tip and lightweight, easy-to-control handle also make it a great choice for partner play, or for people with arthritis or limited use of their hands.

Why Men Should Not Be Scared of Penis Plugs

Imagine how amazing it would feel if you could have serious pleasure both inside and outside of your penis simultaneously. Various men have valued the unadulterated fervor, and with this accommodating sexual assistant and guide, you additionally can acknowledge penis fittings, wands, and urethral sounds securely.

The primary concern you need to check is the way by way the plug is inserted. These sex toys are accurately made to allow safe urethral play. Penis fittings and urethral sounds regularly have twists, finished surfaces, or even pointed tips, yet the arrangement itself must be appropriate for the male (and female) urethral frameworks to allow safe use. Penis additions and urethral sounds ought to be made with the goal that they mull over a smooth and safe inclusion. The primary thing that you have to do is to guarantee that the inclusion end of a penis connection is smooth and made of thick smooth metal so as not to hurt the urethra during addition. Check to ensure there are no pods, scratches, harsh edges or free metal filings or pieces as most penis fittings are handcrafted. In case you’re purchasing from blocks and mortar store, ensure that it is a great grown-up store with bunches of good audits.

The whole surface zone of the penis plug ought to be smooth without any spots where the skin can get captured. Exactly when checking the penis plug, confirm that it’s made in a way that ensures a solid fit and that will keep it in place without any issues. It’s basic that a penis attachment is safely fitted so it won’t go further into the urethra than is proposed. This is why the penis plugs need to be examined carefully before being put into use. If you add a glans ring or a stopper it will ensure it stays there for the required period.


In case you’re simply beginning you can use something with a little adjusted tip that is smooth. This is to guarantee that no harm is done to the sensitive urethra, it is for the security of the pole. The more extraordinary, bulbous and finished styles are for those that are regarded to be further developed and these are the ones that will expect you to stir your way up to. In such manner you have to learn with respect to how to swim before jumping off into the profound end brimming with different penis attachment shapes, sizes, and surfaces.

The best plug will be the one that will accommodate your urethra in the most ideal manner; with as meager extending as could be expected under the circumstances and the least opposition. Try not to go to little as there are dangers in such a manner too. It should be a cozy fit, not a tight fit.  Some of our writers who have been using penis plugs got their first plugs from lovegasm, they have a huge collection from beginners to experienced users.

For the most part, it’s incredible to have a penis plug with a ring or an enlarged end so it doesn’t slip in and get lost. Like how a butt-centric attachment functions, what you’re searching for is a rod-like piece with a blocking shaft. Concerning material, careful tempered steel is the most secure and most generally utilized any way you will find attachments and silicon. These materials are body sheltered and simple to sanitize in the wake of utilizing. Neither careful steel nor silicone will hold microscopic organisms, and as they are non-permeable and can be quickly sterilized after every session.


We feel compelled to tell you this that you should utilize a sterile Lubricant. Lubricants will support your sound or plug glide into the right spot easily, while the sterile lube will protect you from disease or from harm. A sterile lube like surgi-lube is mind-blowing or for more term play something like SuperSlyde. Although note that whichever grease that you utilize that it is critical to pee subsequent to utilizing a sound, in order to flush out any residual particles. This ought to endeavor as quickly as time permits subsequent to utilizing any type of grease. Any particles that remain could have different substances, microbes or different things that can join themselves to the rest of the ointment and offer reason to different issues later down the track.


Your first fitting ought to be straightforward and simple to embed. Before insertion, use some lube and unwind, relax. Ensure that the fitting has been sanitized and is a great idea to go. Before you even get the fitting again you ought to guarantee that your hands and penis are perfect. A few people will even utilize careful gloves for the cleanest experience, and this is astoundingly mainstream in specialist assume circumstances and pretending. For the record, the eye of your penis is commonly somewhat more extensive than the urethra, remember this when you’re attempting to choose a size.

You should set aside the effort to end up stirred. Regardless of whether your thing is comedian sex, fat develop ladies, or even gay pornography, slip on your preferred film with the goal that you can raise your degree of excitement. Take as a lot of time as required and welcome a whole new universe of satisfaction. Start while your penis is in a limp state and gradually embed the module into the eye of your penis. Holding your penis at a 90-degree point from your body, step by step slip the sound or attachment in.

Your first endeavor may be a moderate procedure, particularly in case you’re somewhat focused or restless. Go moderate. Simplicity in a little it, unwind, and let the urethra also unwind before endeavoring to embed the sound in any more profound. Endeavor to let gravity and the largeness of the sound maneuver the sound down into your penis. By then once it’s in by more than three inches, it will typically rotate insignificantly with the bend of the urethra. Try not to endeavor to push past this point until you have turned out to be knowledgeable about utilizing plugs.

Unlocking Your Vagina’s Potential Through Yoni Eggs

An integral part of Eastern culture for many centuries, the Yoni Egg or Yoni Egg is becoming increasingly popular among women of all ages, even in our latitudes. In addition to the potentially positive effects of the gemstone, it is above all a matter of strengthening the musculature of the pelvic floor with the yoni egg.

What is a yoni egg?

The yoni egg is an egg-shaped gemstone. Especially popular are jade, rose quartz and rock crystal. The word yoni comes from Sanskrit and means translated “origin”. In Tanta, the word Yoni is used as a term for the female reproductive organs. As the name implies, yoni eggs are gems that can be worn vaginally to strengthen the pelvic floor. So Can a yoni egg get stuck? The answers are there now.

This is how to prepare your yoni egg

Once you have a new yoniegg, cook it off for about 10 minutes. You should put it in cold water in the pot and only then boil. If you give the egg to the already boiling water or pour it over, it can get a jump. With lime water you can add a small dash of vinegar to the water so that the egg does not calcify after cooking. Before using, you should warm the yoni egg slightly. You can put it in warm water, for example, or warm it up with your hands for a short time. After use, wash with mild soap and water, allow to dry well in the air and store in the provided bag. You should not use the egg during pregnancy, menstruation or illness.

Use the yoni egg correctly

You can compare the yoni egg very well with vaginal weights or love balls. If you have already gained experience, you can easily transfer your previous exercises to the egg. If you are new to the field and do not know exactly how strong your pelvic floor is, you should start slowly. It’s best to get three different sizes and try out the size that feels best for you. At the beginning, you should not wear the egg for more than 10 minutes at a time and always attach a retrieval tape.


Also on the pelvic floor muscle you can get sore muscles and therefore you should not overdo it. At first you try to hold the egg only. Depending on the strength of your muscles, you may often lose it at the beginning. If your muscles are already stronger, you can train specifically with the egg. You can move it up and down, for example, by touching and relaxing. In addition, the yoni egg can be used in meditation. You can pull it up with the muscles with the inhalation and press it down while exhaling. If you are much practiced, you can also use it as an additional challenge in yoga.

Positive effects of yoni egg

With regular use you will soon notice the positive effects of your workout. Your pelvic floor muscles are strengthened and by doing so you not only prevent bladder weakness but can also greatly improve your love life. A good pelvic floor muscle can help you get to orgasm easier and faster. Also, your partner will feel your starched muscle.

If you’re interested, see some .

Which is the best?

There is no ultimate yoni egg that can be described as “the best” for every woman. Every lady use to be different. Based on which gemstones the eggs happen to be made of, these give off distinguished energies that correspond to one of the phases. Now it is important that you choose the yoni egg that suits your current situation. You do not have to do this alone; you can rely on the help of blogs so you can get the most informed decision. There are yoni eggs available at this website as well as expert advice in choosing the right one for you.

It is also important to know that you usually only need one yoni egg at a time. By properly training and building muscle, you know best when to move to the next one. Thus, you can build me the time an assortment of high quality Stone Eggs.

What’s in the application?

It is important to know that this is not a normal egg, but a gemstone egg, which can be made from different types of gems. For this reason, these training products are often referred to as jade eggs, as earlier and today for the production of jade is also used. The introduction of the egg in the vagina is said to trigger many positive effects in the woman. Here are to name especially:

  • Strengthening of the pelvic floor muscles
  • Increase blood circulation
  • Improvement of digestion
  • Help with sexual trauma
  • Protection against fungal diseases
  • Protection against infections
  • Increase in orgasmic capacity
  • Weaknesses of menstrual symptoms
  • Increase in sensitivity

Balancing the hormone balance

In this way different areas of a woman’s life can be improved and made more pleasant. Of course, it should be noted that every woman feels and experiences the positive qualities of this gemstone egg differently. In any case, it can be expected that the women will be pleasantly surprised by the application.


How is yoni eggs used?

The application of the yoni egg is very simple and can be used by any woman. It is important not to use a lubricant, petroleum jelly or another chemical bomb in order to introduce the egg more easily. It is a natural process that should be completely natural. In order to simplify the first insertion, you should lay down relaxed, so that the “spitting effect” can be made slowly. This is about slowly and gently welcoming the yoni egg.

Practicing Safe and Enjoyable Urethral Play

Sounding? Does that have anything to do with sound? No! An emerging trend in the BDSM world is the insertion of an object into the urethra. The inserted object is called a ‘sound’ or ‘urethra plug’. It is actually a form of masturbation in which the urethra is penetrated with the object. How do you sound? And what are the Do’s and Doníts? Is urethral insertion safe? We explain!

Sounding, how do you do that?

Sounding literally means the insertion of ‘something’ into the urethra. Stimulating the urethra can be done by both men and women. Yet we see that the trend is particularly popular among men. Many men find the feeling of a stretched and pungent urethra very pleasant and exciting. The stimulation is carried out with a specially made toy or attribute. You can do this with a penis plug or with a dilator. It can be placed in the urethra until the prostate is reached. The stimulation can then be done in different ways. This allows you to make rotating or downward movements with the sound.

Penis plug or dilator

A dilator is a, usually quite long, bar of surgical steel. This material ensures that it is very easy to clean. They also do not break, so this works safest. The penis plug is often shorter, with a ring at the end . This ring can stimulate the glands extra during the game. The difference between a dilator and a penis plug is mainly in use.

The penis plug is mainly used for extra stimulation. It can make the penis more sensitive, that an erection lasts longer and that the orgasm feels more intense. There are even hollow penis plugs. These make it possible to pass urine and semen. So you can also continue to wear very well if you want to use a penis plug for extra stimulation during sexual intercourse. The dilator is longer and is mainly intended to stimulate the urethra.

There are many kinds of dilators and penis plugs available online. You can check out this online store because they have a site wide sale here for a cheap cock plug.

Types of dilators

Dilators can be divided into different categories:

Hegar – The hegar sound has a curved S shape and two ends with different thicknesses. These sounds are easy to insert and are relatively short. This model is therefore very suitable for people who want to try sounding for the first time. Example of hegar dilators is the single silicone dilator of 6mm.

Rosebud – This is one of the best known dilators and also very suitable for novice users. The sound has a ball at one end and a flat handle or rod at the other end. The top is specially designed for stimulation of the bladder. These toys can also be used by women. An example is this set of 3 dilators with round top.

Dittle – The Dittle resembles the Rosebud. However, unlike the Rosebud, this toy does not have a spherical end. The other end of the Dittle is flat and shaped in the shape of a triangle.

Van Buren – this is the most popular dilator among experienced users. This dilator has a characteristic J-shape and is very long. He is also bent at the end so that he can hit and stimulate the bladder or P-spot in the man.

Pratt – the Pratt is a curved dilator that has a convex shape at both ends. This dilator is slightly longer than other models and can therefore be inserted deeper. This dilator is suitable for both men and women. An example is the Single End Dilator

Vibrating dilators – these models are primarily intended for people who have used a sound more often. You can masturbate with vibrating models. The vibrations provide an even more intense feeling.

Before you start sunning

Before you start sundering, it is important to pay attention to a number of things.

Choose the right model: Inexperienced users can best start with a single model, or a set with different sizes. As a beginner, prefer to leave out an extended set or a vibrating dilator. Do not go directly for a long model. Opt for a plug or a shorter sound, such as a Hegar dilator.

Choose the right size: Sounds have different thicknesses. A set is useful to test which thickness feels the best for you. The narrowest dilators have a diameter of 1.5 mm to 2 mm. The thickness dilators have a diameter.

Choose the material: Almost all dilators are made of stainless steel. This material is sterile. Yet there are also silicone dilators available. These are very suitable for men who want to try a dilator for the first time. The soft silicone material is extra easy to insert and feels less stiff.

Your Vagina’s Fitness Journey Starts With a Ben Wa Ball

The system of fitness exercises wobbling was created by engineer Vladimir Muravskiy. The methodology developed by the famous Russian activates passive vaginal muscles in just a few weeks. The fitness wobbling system turns women into sex goddesses. But wobbling has additional benefits:

Fitness for vaginal muscles: Fitness training of the vaginal muscles stimulates blood supply and hormonal exchange, maintains the balance of vaginal micro flora and increases the immunity of intimate parts. It slows the climax and prolongs the sexual youth of women. Fitness training of the vaginal muscles relieves labor and helps women to regain their form more quickly after birth.

It can be used as a natural contraceptive. Well-developed vaginal muscles and cervix can induce sperm fluids to prevent unwanted pregnancy.

Fitness training of the vaginal muscles improves male potency. Elastic and strong vaginal muscles prolong male erection.

Fitness training is a great anti-cellulite therapy. Vaginal muscle training also loads femoral, buttock and abdominal muscles. Enhanced blood circulation in the intimate area improves the condition of the skin in the area of ??the hip. Fitness training of vaginal muscles stimulates the production of pheromones that attract representatives of the opposite sex.

Fitness techniques to develop vaginal muscles

For starters, you have to determine which your vaginal muscles are. It is not difficult. Just try to stop urinating and you will feel the muscles tense. Then try to stretch them yourself and hold them tight for about 10-20 seconds (learn to shrink vaginal muscles without shrinking your femoral, buttock or abdominal muscles).

Vaginal muscles are divided into 3 parts – lower (at the entrance to the vagina), middle (the muscles of the vagina itself) and upper (to the cervix). The next step is to alternate tension and relaxation of the vaginal muscles as quickly as possible. The last part of the workout involves pushing as a child. Start with a workout of 10 slow restraints and relaxations, 10 quick restraints and relaxations, and 10 pushups 5 times a day. Add 5 reps each week until they become 30.

It is even more effective using a special simulator or vaginal balls that are also sold in sex shops. Lubricate the spheres with a lubricant and insert them into the vagina. Tighten the lower muscles, take a deep breath and try to reach the ball with the vaginal muscles in the middle. Then try to move the ball up and down and left to right. As you progress, perform the upper vaginal muscles. So now you know what do Ben Wa balls feel like.

Ben Wa balls

Ben Wa balls are the name of a sex toy, which consists of hard balls strung on a cord with a diameter of about 1 to 2 cm. The balls are usually made of plastic, but other materials such as metal are sometimes used. To learn more of the different kinds of these vaginal balls, you can check and purchase ben wa balls here. This cord is placed in the vagina or anus and moved back and forth. The friction of the balls can stimulate sexually. It is the intention to remove the balls at the time of orgasm.

Many women know the problem. After a pregnancy, or as we become older, the pelvic floor muscles relax. As a result, when jumping or sneezing we can lose a little urine and feel less during sex. This makes it more difficult to achieve orgasm and an orgasm is less strong. For this blog you need to dived into the books on pelvic floor muscles and read everything that was loose and stuck on vaginal balls to write a good and clear summary of how, why and with which balls you can now best train.

What are vaginal balls?

Vaginal Balls or Ben-Wa balls make you train and strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, but can also be worn for sensual pleasure for example, as foreplay. Stronger pelvic floor muscles not only prevent incontinence but are also good for fine sex with more feeling and you can more easily reach an orgasm. In addition, orgasms are also experienced as more intense by trained pelvic floor muscles.

Cone balls or Ben Wa balls have existed since the year 500 and are from ancient Asia where Geisha’s with the balls trained their pelvic floor muscles to bring the men into ecstasy. That is why Ben Wa Balls are also called geisha balls. Furthermore, you often encounter them under the denominator of vaginal balls, cone balls or pleasure balls.

If you want to work on your perinea tonicity with Ben Wa balls, it is better to choose evolutionary systems. Indeed, as for the choice of dumbbells, it is possible to opt for more and more heavy balls to promote more muscular work.

What spending two weeks in a chastity device taught me about my sexuality and my marriage

I had no idea how much of my daily interactions with my wife were subtle negotiations for sex, but my wife sure did. She’d come to accept it as part of being married to a man

Over time, my sexual needs became lesssingularly focused on the end goal of orgasm, and more focused on courtship and on her
Over time, my sexual needs became less singularly focused on the end goal of orgasm, and more focused on courtship and on her. It’s “Locktober” again, the month where men willingly lock their genitalia up in chastity devices in the hopes of making it “hands-free” for 31 days. Some do it for the kink, some for the challenge, and a great number do it as a way to be more present and engaged with their partners (called “keyholders”). Though I could never do a whole month, I did do it for two weeks, and what it taught me about my sexuality and how it can dominate my marriage was nothing short of revelatory.

First, some context. As an erotica writer, I wanted to understand the common theme of chastity for huge penises to write more believable characters. My wife agreed to be my keyholder for two weeks and unlock me only if she desired it. I had a spare key to unlock for safety reasons and maintenance, but not for any other reason.

With these rules in place, our dynamic changed within three days. What had started as some fun denial play became something else entirely. Once my wife trusted that I really was “locked up” at her discretion, she felt free to interact with me without every action being viewed through my sexual needs, which we dubbed “the barter system”.

Simply put, I had no idea how much of my daily interactions with my wife were subtle negotiations for sex, but my wife sure did. She’d come to accept it as part of being married to a man. But now, if my hand lingered too long on a caress, my cage made the motivations painfully obvious. Call it cognitive behaviour therapy for my penis.

Beforehand, her being playful with me was viewed primarily as an invitation to sex. Now it could now exist on its own. My listening to her day wasn’t partially “putting in the time to earn sex,” because sex wasn’t an option. I was liberated to enjoy the act of listening.

Subsequently, she opened up physically and emotionally and I enjoyed being the emotional support a husband is supposed to be. Over time, my sexual needs became less singularly focused on the end goal of orgasm, and more focused on courtship and on her. Closeness, caresses and bonding took prominence over my desire to get off.

I still wanted sex, but I was free from the dishonest dealings of my libido. I wanted sex as an accompaniment to intimacy, not intimacy as post-coital add-on. This distinction was huge. When the sex did come, it was better both physically and emotionally for us both.

After Stringfellow, there’s a way to overhaul the sex club industry
There were other benefits, too. My locus of thought moved from “me” to “we”. She felt more entitled to her needs and filtered her words less.

I also learned the multiple roles masturbation played in my life and which ones weren’t helpful. It was healthy to use it as a release for sexual frustration during a week when there was just no time for sex, but it didn’t stop there. I used it when putting in the time to get my partner in the mood seemed like too much effort. In that sense it was lazy man’s sex that I benefited from, but denied my wife that intimacy, and treated sex like a chore.

When left without masturbation I sought other options. Intimacy with my wife (in a reciprocation-free environment for her) allowed her to ease into the enjoyment of it and allowed me to be a part of her pleasure without filtering it through my own. Needless to say, that was a lot of fun for us both.

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If I was stressed, my new avenue was one that had always been there: I talked to my wife about it. She had great insights but mostly she just listened. The stress went away, and unlike the short-term benefit masturbation provided, I got longer term benefits like companionship, trust, vulnerability and reassurance.

I emerged from my two weeks with my masculinity intact, but a deeper understanding of what it meant to be her man. And we emerged a happier couple.

I wore this male chastity device for a fortnight so you don’t have to

Man, I love fondling my penis. As is well-documented on these very pages. Other people fondling my penis is great too, since you ask, but that’s another story.

Yet even such a committed onanist as I must occasionally ponder whether it’s actually a force for good or ill in my life.

Could it be that squandering my seed, as all those joyless little NoFap weirdos insist on framing it, somehow diminishes my potential as a man? And what if there’s a way to lay off the dolphin-flogging that doesn’t require willpower? When an opportunity arose to try a male chastity device for a bit, curiosity got the better of me – and before I knew where I was, I was signing the Yodel geezer’s little PDA to accept delivery of my shiny new wang guard.

What can I say: it was Dry January and self-flagellation was all the rage. Anyway, here’s what we’re dealing with: Plastic alternatives are available too, if you’re a puny wimp who doesn’t take genital self-mutilation seriously; a sad little weasel unwilling – or, let’s face it, unable – to put in the hard miles on the highway to self-denial. In case you’re here for a handy how-to: unlock it, separate the parts, pop your nads through the scrotal ring, slide the shaft bit around your dong, secure it, then clasp the padlock back on. But always read the instructions first. Sadly I’m not allowed to model it for you (curse those Metro prudes), so this requires a little imagination on your part.

My penis looked… pathetic. Defeated, somehow. Like a hunchbacked, medieval serf – head bowed, clapped in irons for stealing one of his Lordship’s chickens. I gave my wife the key, not because she’s a sexy dominatrix, but because she’s a trustworthy grownup who always knows where important household items are stored. She was all in favour, by the way, and I suspect rather looked forward to a spell of peaceful weekend lie-ins. Indeed, when I jokingly suggested she swallow (the key), the love of my life put her headphones on and pretended I wasn’t there.

That first evening I wore my magical chastity device mooching around the house, as a normal person might when breaking in a new pair of brogues. The extra weight takes a lot of getting used to. It’s actually uncomfortable and weeing through the gaps in a metal cage while sitting down feels so… barbaric. Nope (Picture: Getty) In the interests of journalism I read around the topic and discovered broad consensus within the male chastity community (oh, it exists) that overnight is the trickiest time, because you can’t help your raging nocturnal boners.

A kindly soul on Reddit advised I slather up with baby oil before beddybyes and be ready for a rude awakening. How right he was. About 5am, having carefully arranged the pillows so I stayed on my back, the inevitable surging erection made itself known. The device was already pretty tight around my member, even when flaccid (cos I’m such a giant stud), but now my luckless schlong was doing its morning stretches, for the first time ever, under lock and key.

Again, Metro would probably take a dim view of me sharing a photo. So imagine a lonely little bearcub in some sketchy foreign zoo, pathetically squishing its hairless, malnourished flanks against the bars of a teeny-tiny cage. Tragic, really. But the pain rapidly forced my dick into retreat, so the problem went away. I guess that’s a win? MORE: SEX These are the sex trends you can look forward to Sex doll maker helps grieving men by recreating dead wives in silicone Male contraceptive gel could soon become a reality I had a couple of meetings to attend the next day, and so was forced to brave the outside world.

I had zero qualms about my inevitable massive pants bulge. If some foxy lady on the Tube happened to glance at my crotch and marvel at my blessed package then so much the better. But again, the weight thing. It’s just not enjoyable. Also, pro–tip: wear the tightest underwear possible. Anything loose and the little padlock flops around when you walk, making you sound like the Tin Man. At my meetings I must say I felt a little racy wearing it – naughty, like I had a dirty secret that could be exposed at any moment. But again, the pissing thing.

In a singularly unlovely south London public toilet I retreated to a stall – the urinal was hardly an option – and sat down. Without doubt, the clang of my dong-trap on the porcelain made the queue outside think I’d dropped my heroin spoon. Honestly, that probably would have been less embarrassing. As the days wore on I grew accustomed to the discomfort. I stopped wearing it 24/7, because even the pros don’t do that. Plus – to be blunt – there’s a whole pre-cum-leakage-stench issue that gets quite unmanageable around day three.

Have a read here on how ycan male chastity transformed your marriage

Popping it off overnight meant I could rinse it under the tap and leave it in a tupperware by the bedside, sort of like wearing a brace. This, but for cock (Picture: Getty) The more time I spent with it, the more I found myself obsessing over who it’s actually designed for. Not whimsical journos, that’s for sure. Cheating spouse is an obvious one. I have a mate who has serious issues keeping it in his pants – he claimed to love the idea, until I sent him a picture of my dick inside one. A rather sweet target market that never occurred to me until someone online suggested it, is men who ejaculate too quickly.

Which is basically all men, by the way. The idea is you wear the device and thoroughly take care of the missus. Then, and only then, do you get unlocked. I actually tried that with the wife, but sadly in my excitement I started clanking, which apparently was ‘like being eaten out by C-3PO.’ Nosing around the chastity community, it seems ‘control’ is the main motivation. Some people love a bit of discomfort in their sexual routine. As a potential aid to curtailing daytime masturbation it’s pointless. Half the reason I jack-off is to shut out the horny thoughts, not draw attention to them.

Weirdly though, I do miss my little private pee-pee prison. This must be what Stockholm Syndrome feels like. Well, cock-holm syndrome, anyway.

Words from The Chaste Cyclist!

I’d like to thank you for going through these questions and letting us in to your world of chastity. You started a blog in 2015 called thechastecyclist. We’ve read through your ups and downs, your kink lifestyle, the events of your family and kids, your sex life and various goings on in your life over the previous three years. We’d like to thank you for the chance to ask you a series of questions.

Thank you for reading. I truly appreciate everyone who takes time out of their day to read my ramblings.

In your first post in 2015 – you say that you started this blog as your exploration into the world of chastity. Why a blog, and not a diary? What drove you to putting this online for others to read?

I was talking to another person who writes a blog, The Drew Duality about his life and it included chastity. I also had read through Denying Thumper, another guy talking about and living a life of chastity. Both of their blogs were of such an interest and coupled with my love to write, I decided to give it a go. I honestly didn’t care if anyone ever read a single post. I considered this blog my personal diary.

You had had an interest in male chastity for many years – what was so interesting about it for you and when did you start taking note of it?

Honestly, it started in the late 1980’s. I have always been interested in BDSM and Female Domination. As a college sophomore I started reading those Penthouse “stories” magazines. One edition had a story about two women seducing a man at a bar, taking him home, then tying him up and doing what they wanted to him all night. I chased BDSM and FemDom ever since. It spoke to me. Fast forward to the early 2000’s. One day while cruising the web I stumbled across the Men in Pain website and saw my first photo/video of a guy with metal locked on his cock. I was hooked from there. The entire idea of someone taking control of my cock and controlling my orgasms quickly became a passion…dare I say…an addiction.

You mentioned that you didn’t always take chastity seriously, and you likened it to a game. What made you change your outlook towards chastity and start to take it seriously?

Initially, it was a game. The first time I convinced my Wife to try it and ordered our first cheap device it truly was a game that neither one of us enjoyed playing. The device was ill fitted. It pinched and grabbed at every movement. Truth be told, I didn’t last more than 18 hours before throwing in the towel. My Wife could not have been more pleased. She just wasn’t kinky at all and didn’t understand. After that initial experience, and I have written about this extensively, I started drifting mentally away from my Wife. I resorted to masturbation for my true sexual pleasure and that feeling took over my side of the relationship. After our 25th anniversary, I realized I was missing something and started searching for an answer. Chastity was that answer.

I have to ask this question as when we’re talking about kinks – not everyone is receptive. You say that it was difficult in getting your wife (MrsL) to take chastity as a serious kind of activity. What do you think changed, have you spoken about that and what was her initial hesitation in chastity?

MrsL was raised a devout Catholic and truly believed I was having an affair…well I was…only with myself and online porn. To this day, she still has a hard time with kink but it isn’t as bad as it once was. Her initial reaction to chastity, before I confessed my masturbation issue, was one of truly not understanding. However, after our anniversary trip I took the time to find some “non kinky” e-books for her to read and once she read them we discussed the concept of chastity more seriously.

What advice do you have for people looking to introduce chastity or kink into their lives?

Do your research. Determine if it is just a kink you want to explore or if you want it to be a regular part of your life. There is an adjustment.

What’s your go to comfort food?

Nice, I like how you throw this in here to bring some levity. My go to comfort food has to be…vanilla ice cream! Imagine that, I am a kinky being but my comfort food is vanilla ice cream!

In one of your posts in early October – you talk about whether or not to keep the blog going. What effort and determination is required when running a blog, and what does it take out of you – for those looking to start their own blog?

Even though I initially didn’t care if anyone read my blog, I quickly realized I had regular readers. With regular readers comes an expectation of new/fresh content. In October, I realized I wasn’t holding up my end of the bargain with new/fresh content. I was feeling guilty. I quickly got over that feeling. If your starting a blog, make sure you know why you are starting a blog. Decide if you are writing for you or for your readers. If the answer is the latter, then take steps to keep your blog updated daily. If it is the former, write when, where, and what you want to write.

You and MrsL use a journal to talk about things; kink lifestyle, what’s going on – This seems like a fantastic idea as it let’s couples work through things at their own pace. Where did this idea come from and how have you both found it useful?

It came from another blog I read with the only difference is this couple uses their blog to talk about “stuff”. We only use it for our kinky stuff.

You’ve spoken recently about changing the type of chastity that you and Mrs L engage in, and i’d love to explore that. What does the difference between enforced chastity and devotional chastity mean to you – and what was the decision making process in that?

Enforced chastity is exactly what it says…enforced. When MrsL finally told me that she was in charge of when and how long I wore her Steelheart, I realized I truly had gotten what I had been wishing for all those years. Alas, I travel on airplanes and the plastic Bon4 device and the “custom” EvotionWearables device (3D printed surgical nylon) device caused issues…all chronicled on the blog. One of the many websites I visited and introduced to MrsL was Devotional Sex. We both read through it, individually, had a journal, and face to face conversation about the entire concept. Absent spending the money needed, and we are still planning on doing this someday, on a custom TITANIUM device that is airplane travel safe we agreed that we would live the Devotional Sex lifestyle in between stints in the Steelheart. For me, it personifies my renewed commitment to MrsL.

She is still 100% in charge of IF, WHEN, and HOW I receive an orgasm. In exchange, I still focus all of my sexual energy on her! I will admit that the feeling isn’t the same. There is something about the absolutely instant POSITIVE feedback received when locked in chastity that is electric. When you cock wants to get hard and that desire is blocked by some type of device that energy is looped back through your body. With Devotional Sex, the feedback loop is more subtle but it does build with time. For example, within an hour or two of being locked in the Steelheart, the slightest touch from MrsL sends chills coursing through my body. However, when we are practicing Devotional Sex it sometimes takes days. When I am on a known extended travel break for work the Steelheart is more present. Other times, like now, Devotional Sex is more prevalent. Of course, either way has its advantages and disadvantages for MrsL. She is very coy about which way she prefers but I think it is having unfettered access to tease me.

The ins and outs of male chastity devices

What good’s a cock cage if you can get escape from it? Plus: a reluctant roomie, an enthusiastic spankee

Q: I’m in a D/s relationship with a partner who owns my cock. We’ve purchased several male chastity devices, but I can pretty easily get out of them. My partner did some investigating and learned that the only effective devices work with a Prince Albert piercing—a ring through the head of the penis that locks into the device, preventing the sub from pulling his cock out. My partner now wants me to get a PA. I don’t want to get my cock pierced and I’ve said so, but I would very reluctantly do it to please her. My partner made an appointment for a piercing three months from now, on our second anniversary. She told me that we can cancel it if I can find an effective chastity device that doesn’t require a piercing. Do you or any of your contacts in the fetish world know of any devices that are inescapable?

A: I’ve never come across a standard male chastity device I couldn’t pull out of,” said Ruffled Sheets, an IT consultant and chastity belt aficionado who as of this writing owns 37 different kinds of cock cages. “So PAUSES’s partner has obviously researched regular chastity devices well.

“However, piercing is [just] one of two ways to ensure the penis cannot escape. The other is a full chastity belt,” Sheets continues. They “aren’t without their drawbacks—they are generally more expensive, are harder to conceal under clothes, and take longer to get used to, especially at night. But they are secure. I have three custom-fitted chastity belts and, once properly fitted, they’re inescapable.”

That said, for many male subs and their doms, the symbolism of a male chastity device is what matters most, not its inescapability. And as with other forms of sex play and most aspects of healthy relationships, it’s the honor system that really makes it work.

“As in any negotiated relationship, you can cheat,” said Sheets. “But why cheat? They’re easy to keep on if you’re genuinely interested in submitting.”

Fun fact: Locking a guy’s cock in an inescapable device doesn’t prevent him from coming.

Q: My girlfriend of four months has unofficially moved in with me. We began as a long-distance thing; I live in New York City and she lived in the Deep South. What began as her visiting me for the holidays ended up with her staying with me indefinitely. She comes from a very poor family, and going back home means sleeping in her grandma’s living room. Things are going well, but we are moving fast. I’m not sure how I feel about this. On one hand, I’m loving it and loving her. On the other hand, I feel like she could be using me. She has found part-time work. She hasn’t pitched in for rent—I also have a roommate—but she has pitched in for groceries. Do I ask her for rent money? Do I send her back to her grandma’s place? I don’t know what to do because I feel like I am housing a refugee. —She’s Here Indefinitely Now

A: Instead of ending things now to protect yourself from retroactively feeling shitty about this relationship if it ends at some point in the future, SHIN, you should have a convo with your girlfriend about rent, reality, and roommates. Tell her that it can’t go on like this indefinitely, as it’s unfair to your roommate. Tell her you appreciate the ways she’s kicking in now—helping with groceries—but eventually she’ll need to start kicking in on rent too, and then set a realistic date for her to start paying rent. You should also encourage her to think about getting her own place. Not because you want to stop seeing her—you’re loving it and loving her—but because a premature commitment like cohabitating can sabotage a relationship. You also don’t want her to feel so dependent on you that she can’t end things if she needs to. You want her to be with you because she wants to be with you, not because she’s trapped.

Q: You ran a letter from a man whose wife wouldn’t let him spank her. I’m a woman whose husband won’t spank me. I found a man like WISHOTK, and we meet up for spanking sessions. Neither of our spouses know. It’s only spanking, no sex. How bad should I feel? —Really Erotic Dalliances But, Um, Married

A: Very bad. In fact, REDBUM, I think you should be spanked for getting spanked behind your husband’s back—then spanked again for getting spanked for getting spanked behind your husband’s back. And then spanked some more.