How Common Are Male Chastity Devices?

Male chastity devices restrict access to the male genitals, thus preventing masturbation, sexual intercourse and/or orgasm or causing pain if an erection is achieved. As your question implies, they can be used either short-term (such as during an individual sexual encounter) or long-term (for several days or more, while going about one’s daily activities).

As with any sexual practice that could be considered unusual, it’s difficult to find data about how many people use male chastity devices, either short term or long term. This isn’t the kind of thing that’s usually asked about on surveys. That said, this is a product category that we have gradually expanded over the past few years in response to customer demand, starting with one and eventually stocking seven different lockable devices. We average between three and four sales of lockable devices a month, which we consider significant for a small store in a relatively small market. Our most popular chastity devices are those in the CB-6000 series, which are designed for long-term wear. We’ve even had customers ask if we’d be willing to hold monthly meet-ups at the store for couples who are interested in long-term male chastity (which we are—we only lack a host! If you’re interested in volunteering, contact us).

I contacted the manufacturers of the CB-6000 devices to see if they had any data that they could share. Although they don’t release specific sales figures, they did say that they sell thousands of devices a year—and they are only one manufacturer of such products! They estimate that their customers are equally divided between people in the fetish or kink communities and couples who are looking to try something new.

Many people worry that they are the “only one” who is into a particular sexual activity that is considered outside the mainstream. If I achieve anything with my work, I hope that it’s helping people realize that, in fact, they are not alone in their desires, and that there is a huge amount of variety in our sex lives that doesn’t ever make it into the pop culture discourse about sex. For every person that is brave enough to come into the store and talk to us about things like male chastity, I assume that there are many, many more who share this interest.

Read more on why other men are using male chasitity

6 Reasons Sex Gets Better With Age, According To Science, Because There’s Great News If You’re Having Bad Sex In Your 20s

Sex is for the beautiful and the young. At least according to every other sex scene that plays out on TV. But despite what people tend to believe, sex doesn’t go downhill after 30. In fact, many recent cases have found that like wine, sex gets better with age. A new study of 828 Brits conducted by dating site,, found that 37 percent of women and 34 percent of men revealed that the best age to have sex is in your 40s.

“20-year-olds are having plenty of sex, but the 40-year-olds are actually enjoying it,” a spokesperson from Illicit Encounters said. “40-year-olds have fewer hang-ups than 20-year-olds, and more experience under their wing – they really know what they want out of their intimate life – and that’s great sex!”

Illicit Encounters isn’t the first to reveal this tidbit of information. Recently, many studies have come out revealing what your parents already know, that sex gets better with age.

Here are six science-backed facts to prove it:

1. Women Have A Better Chance Of Climaxing
Take it from people who are going through it now, as your age increases, so does your enjoyment for sex. In fact, a survey found that 54 percent of women felt that sex gets better with age, they didn’t even need to use any lovely sex swing out there just to get a climax. An OkCupid study conducted in 2011 even found that women in their early 20s had about a 40 percent chance of having difficulty reaching an orgasm, while that percentage dropped to around 20 percent for women in their 40s.

2. Women Become More Confident
One of the reasons why many experts believe sex gets better as we grow older is because we tend to be more confident in ourselves. I think everyone can attest to the fact that sex in your 20s is about experimentation. It’s about trying new things and exploring your likes and your dislikes. It can also be awkward as hell. But as you age, you’ve been there, done that. You know what you like and what you don’t like. You also become more comfortable in who you are and your sexuality.
According to couples’ counselor, Tara Saglio, “By the time they’re older, people have usually come to terms with many of their insecurities about body image. They’re also likely to have less performance anxiety. The worries all men and women have — am I boring in bed? Do I look OK? Too hairy? – are less acute.”

3. With Confidence Comes A Sense Of Adventure Thus, Wilder Sex.
A study conducted by Health Plus magazine of people 45-plus found that older women were more adventurous. In fact, 89 percent of women admitted to liking various positions and locations. Of course, those women also said that sex was better in their 40s than it had been in their 20s.

4. Genital Primes Are Much Different Than Sexual Primes.
According to sex therapist, David Schnarch, there’s a big different between ones’ genital prime and ones’ sexual prime. Men reach their genital prime in their late teens or early 20s. They get aroused more quickly and can have sex much more frequently because they’re in their physical prime. However, their minds aren’t set to experience good sex. According to Schnarch, guys in their 20s are too impulsive, insecure, and inexperienced that they don’t truly reach their sexual primes until they’re middle aged.

5. Married Sex = Better Sex
A study conducted by women’s magazine, Your Life, interviewed professional British women 35 and over on their attitudes toward sex. While 75 percent of women said they were happy with their sex lives, that number jumped to 82 percent for women who were currently in relationships, and married women seemed to be the happiest overall.
Priya and Bob Tourkow, a couple who’s been together for 15 years and run retreats focused on reconnecting partners, told The Telegraph UK, “Everything slows down whether you like it or not. But as you get older, sex has the potential to be deeper, more loving experience without the franticness that young people experience. There’s a real magic in that.”

6. Sexual Satisfaction Increases As You Age
In a study published by researchers at the University of Manchester, 80 percent of sexually active men over 50 admit to being satisfied with their sex lives, while 85 percent of sexually active women between the ages of 60 to 69 are satisfied with theirs. According to the study, among the 79-plus group, 90 percent of survey participants admitted to being satisfied with their sex lives. Yes, as much as you hate to admit, your grandparents may be getting a little lovin’ themselves.
Age UK research fellow, David Lee said,

“There’s this misconception that sex belongs to young people. The reactions of the young to older people having sex range from humor and disgust to disbelief that over 50s are having it at all. But our study breaks down these generational barriers. Even though the frequency of sexual declines as we grow older, sex remains an important part of our lives. It doesn’t stop or go away, it just changes.”
Sure, you may be having a lot of sex in your 20s, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re having the best sex of your life. But don’t worry about that. In fact, take notes. Because according to science, the future looks bright and pleasantly orgasmic.

Tips to Choose Best Dildos

Dildo is your toy when you are looking for some awesome phallic pleasure to stimulate your G-spot. It’s one of the oldest and most popular adult toys, especially for women. Are you too planning to buy a dildo of late? It could be your first time. It could also be that your ex had got you a one but you are not really comfortable with it and are looking for a new one. Now, dildos are available in so many variations, shapes and sizes that it’s easy to get spoilt for choices.

However, no worries- the post below offers a brief on how to choose the best dildos.

Decide on length & width

This is one of the most important points to consider while choosing a dildo. When it comes to vaginal play, be careful of the length. If the toy is too small, it may get lost inside. Thus, you have to get a long one here to keep things under control.

In regards to width & girth of your dildo, you have to do little homework beforehand. Just check the number of fingers you will be comfortable with in your nether regions. The width of those fingers taken together will be the right width & girth for your dildo.

Decide on use

Before you buy your dildo, you must contemplate about the purpose of the toy. Do you want it for a powerful G-spot stimulation? Well, then go for a dildo made from firm materials such as metal or glass. The dildo should be slightly curved or angular. But, would you like to use it into anal? In that case, it’s must to choose a dildo with flared base. The flared quotient would make sure the toy does not get lost inside your body.

Now, some women love to use dildos with harness.  If you too are a strap-happy beauty, go for dildos with flanged base. This type of base makes it easy to hold the dildo in harness. Then, are you planning for pegging with your partner? Well, if that’s the plan, go for a curved option which can also double up as prostate stimulator.

However, if you are looking for couple fun, go for twisted dildos that are especially designed for dual play. These are the dildos as addictive as heroin!

What type do you need?

If it’s your first time with dildo, start with a small option. A smooth small dildo will be cool to make you acquainted with the whole thing. This is the kind of butt plug famous in NYC. But, would you like something more realistic? When you are craving for the best of sensual experience with your partner but you are alone- look for realistic dildos. These dildos are designed strategically akin to a real penis with realistic veins and ridges for the actual feel. It’s to note here, realistic dildos come with the label of “realistic dildos” clearly written on their packages. So, don’t forget to read the package before you buy a realistic dildo.

Be careful with material

Dildos are available in wide range of materials. You will find them in glass, metal, wood, silicone and so on. When you want the best stimulation on P-spot or G-spot, count on rigid options made from glass, metal and silicone. But if you are using silicone ones, please do not use silicone lube with it. Go for water-based lubes for all kinds of dildos, regardless of the material.

You should always buy a dildo from an adult toy shop that specializes in sex toys. Yes, you have many leading online retailers selling dildos today- but that could be a bad bargain. A lot of such stuff that you will find at these retail sites are actually fake. So, the best bet is to take to a reputed adult toy store.

5 Key Ways Sex Changes for Older Men

One thing doesn’t change, older men’s—and women’s—ability to enjoy erotic pleasure. But with age, sex changes. It becomes less like the Fourth of July, and more like Thanksgiving. However, even without exploding fireworks, the erotic flames can still burn hot and bright—if older men adjust to the changes aging brings, and if women involved with older men understand what’s happening to their lovers.

When does a man become sexually “older?” It varies, but usually between 45 and 50. A medically problematic lifestyle, for example, smoking, typically accelerates the changes, and a healthy lifestyle may postpone them, but even men in robust health with exemplary lifestyles experience age-related sexual changes. Depending on the man, the changes may develop gradually or surprisingly suddenly, like within six months.

1. Erections become iffy.

After 45 and certainly by 50, erections rise more slowly and become less firm and reliable. Sexual fantasies are no longer enough to raise one. Men need fondling, and as they grow older, often increasing amounts of more vigorous stroking. It’s disconcerting to lose firmness and suffer wilting from minor distractions—a phone ringing—but these change are normal. Unfortunately, many men mistake them for erectile dysfunction (ED) and become anxious that they’re nearing the end of the erotic ropes. This makes things worse. Anxiety constricts the arteries that carry blood into the penis, making erections even less likely.

In addition, many medical conditions impair erections, accelerate age-related sexual changes, and contribute to ED: obesity, diabetes, heart disease, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and lack of regular exercise.

True ED involves inability to raise an erection despite extended, vigorous masturbation. If older men can still get hard solo, they don’t have ED. They have normal (annoying, perhpas infuriating) erection changes. “Here’s my advice to older men with balky erections,” says Palo Alto, California, sex therapist Marty Klein, Ph.D, “Relax, breathe deeply, ask for the kind of touch that excites you, and instead of mourning what you’ve lost, focus on the pleasure you can still enjoy.”

Even true ED need not limit sexual pleasure, says retired Maryland anesthesiologist Ken Haslam, M.D., who teaches workshops on sex and aging, “Men don’t need erections to have orgasms. I’m 76, and I’ve had wonderful orgasms without erections from hand jobs and oral sex.”

2. Premature ejaculation (PE) may return.

PE is usually considered a young man’s problem, the result of over-excitement in young bucks starting to rut. But the landmark University of Chicago “Sex in America” study shows that many men—about one-third—report it throughout the lifespan, meaning that PE is men’s most common, most persistent sex problem. A recent scientifially rigorous survey shows that PE affects 31 percent of men in their fifties, 30 percent in their early sixties, 28 percent from 65 to 70, and 22 percent from 75 to 85.

PE has two major causes, anxiety and penis-centered sex. Anxiety makes the nervous system—including the nerves that trigger ejaculation—more excitable. Young men are often anxious about sex: Will she let me? How do I do this? The reason PE sometimes returns after 50 is that age-related erection changes make men anxious: Will I get hard? Will I stay hard? What the @#$% is happening to me?

Penis-centered sex puts more pressure on the little guy than he can handle. Our sexual culture is preoccupied with intercourse, which leads men of all ages to believe that erotic pleasure is located largely—or only—in the penis. It isn’t. Older men, in fact, all men, should embrace leisurely, playful, whole-body touching and sensual massage, which reduces anxiety and allows arousal to spread all over the body. This takes pressure off the penis and reduces risk of PE. It also pleases women, whose most common complaint about men’s lovemaking is that it’s too rushed and too genital focused.

3. Intercourse fades from the sexual menu.

Intercourse is fundamental to reproduction, but after the reproductive years, it becomes problematic. For older men, iffy erections and ED become increasingly prevalent. Meanwhile, older women, develop vaginal dryness and atrophy (thinning and inflammation of the vaginal lining), which can make intercourse uncomfortable or impossible, even with lubricant.

Older couples who remain sexual typically abandon intercourse in favor of what Haslam calls “outercourse,” whole-body massage, oral sex, and playing with sex toys. With creative outercourse, older couples can enjoy very erotic, orgasmic sex without intercourse.

If women involved with older men want to feel “filled up,” well-lubricated fingers and dildos are good alternatives.

4. Surprisingly few older men use erection drugs.

The myth is that older men pop erection pills routinely. The truth is that few have even tried them, let alone become regular users. German researchers surveyed 3,124 older men, 40 percent of whom reported erection difficulties. Ninety-six percent could name an erection drug, but only 9 percent had ever tried one. Cornell researchers surveyed 6,291 older men, half of whom complained of erection problems. How many had tried a drug? Just 7 percent. As older lovers take intercourse off the sexual menu, men no longer need erections, so they don’t need erection drugs.

5. Men’s sexual pace becomes more like women’s.

Young men become aroused more quickly than young women, and many young women complain, “He’s all finished before I even feel aroused.” But older men take longer to feel turned on. The transition to slower arousal is disconcerting for many men, but it means that the sexual discord of youth can evolve into new sexual harmony. “Compared with young lovers,” explains Richard Sprott, Ph.D., a developmental psychologist at California State University, East Bay, in Hayward, “older couples are more sexually in synch. Couples who appreciate this can enjoy more fulfilling sex at 65 than they had at 25—even without erections and intercourse.”

Secrets of Great Sex After 40

My wife and I are about to celebrate the 42nd anniversary of our first date. We have a solid marriage, but like everyone, we’ve struggled with the changes aging brings, including those affecting our love life.

Intimacy after 40 doesn’t get the attention it deserves. The bad news is that the second half of life brings sexual changes, and changes are never easy. But here’s the good news: With simple adjustments, physical intimacy after 40, 50, 60 and beyond can feel as satisfying as ever—or even better—and deepen the love you share.

Age-related sexual changes begin between 40 and 50. These are women’s “peri-menopausal” years, when estrogen starts falling and periods become less regular. Many women also start to experience vaginal dryness, which can make intercourse uncomfortable. Fortunately, a personal lubricant is usually a quick, effective fix.

Meanwhile, between 40 and 50, most men start to experience erection changes. Erotic daydreams are no longer are enough to raise one. Men need direct genital fondling (with vigorousness increasing with age). When erections appear, they’re not as firm as they were back in men’s twenties, and minor distractions may wilt them. This is not erectile dysfunction (ED). It’s middle-age erection dissatisfaction. (ED means an inability to raise erections during sustained masturbation.) Still, to older men with erection dissatisfaction, those iffy, balky erections can be unnerving.

Upsetting as sexual changes after 40 may be, they make evolutionary sense. The biological purpose of life is to reproduce life. As women leave their reproductive years, there’s no longer an evolutionary imperative to continue reproductive sex, i.e. intercourse, so there’s no biological reason to make it comfortable through continued production of natural vaginal lubrication. Meanwhile, men can father children into old age, but until fairly recently in our species’ evolution, few men lived beyond 40 and even fewer fathered children late in life. As a result, there was no evolutionary reason to preserve reproductive function past that age. Biologically, older men who no longer father children, don’t need intercourse—or the firm erections that make it possible. But these days, as age-related sexual changes occur, most older couples keep trying to have intercourse. Lubricants and erection drugs usually help … for a while.

After 50, sexual changes continue. Intercourse may become increasingly uncomfortable for women, even with lubricants, and even with drugs, many men suffer increasingly balky erections, and some develop ED. These changes make intercourse more problematic—and for many older couples, impossible.

Unfortunately, many people believe that sex and intercourse are synonymous, that if they can’t enjoy the old in-out, sex must be over for them. That’s a shame. Retiring from being lovers makes relationships less intimate and ignores the deep human need to experience gentle, sensual touch. Other couples decide to adjust their lovemaking to accommodate age-related changes. Doing so means evolving lovemaking away from intercourse and substituting more kissing, cuddling, whole-body massage, toys, and oral sex.

Recent studies show that older couples who remain happily sexual evolve their lovemaking away from intercourse. Two studies of thousands of men over 50 show that, despite extensive advertising and media hype, only about 10 percent have even tried erection drugs, let alone become regular users. Many older men figure: If I’m not having intercourse, I don’t need erections, so why take the drugs?

Finally, men don’t need erections to have orgasms. That’s right. Even with an older, balky, or even flaccid penis, a comfortable setting, vivid erotic fantasies, and a woman’s loving—and vigorous—caresses are enough to trigger climaxes that feel as enjoyable as ever.

My wife and I not about to let aging interfere with our marital intimacy. Change is challenging, especially sexual changes. But when older couples help each other through the transition away from intercourse, they often discover a deeper, richer eroticism—and love each other even more.